" I dont like the sound of how you tell me u fully trust me and you trust me to trust you to trust and you need me to hang on and stay faithful. I don’t want I give you less credits for everything you have given but don’t you think it’s a little to suffocating for me to have to do that. He made you have walls you don’t even know you have an walls you don’t even plan on having, walls that stands between us, you might not see it now, but soon you’ll learn how all the things that came as a result of all these bullshit will soon take a toll on this relationship. You kept your guard up, you let your thoughts race, you let such thoughts get in the way, you started getting caught up in your own world of truth and beliefs and caught in between a good friend and a lover. Lines blur without you realizing it. I don’t want to say it but wouldn’t be such a waste if the love that we share is not going to eventually work out just because of all this little doings of the subconscious and the little voice you had inside your head. You told me how you have your oh really? moments which you cant remember now but if you’re just going to keep it all to yourself, then why bother observing. So are u just gonna keep all these to yourself for the rest of the time that we are together if we get together for good eventually. Or are you going to let it mountain up to a point where you say this is it? It really pains me to be typing things like that, I don’t want to challenge your unconditional love, i don’t want to appear jumpy and defensive, but the question is, is it really worth it? I don’t want to be living in denial I don’t even realize, going to bed happy and smiling knowing I made you happy and kept you safe and sound and actually thinking i made a positive impact.I don’t want to learn one day that all this transparency is merely one-way traffic. It makes me feel so small and maybe, taken for granted. Right now I can’t stop comtemplating if I should just play it cool, have fun, lower my expectations and just enjoy while I can. It’s so much easier to feel and act that way, but we all know what’s in store if this course of actions in pursued. Consequences will be too much for me to bear. I dont want that to happen and I know neither do you but it scares me that you still have your own half believes and doubts and your own little thoughts about things u don’t plan on sharing and it would just be a good for me if I find out about it. I don’t know how to paint a better picture, but there ain’t gonna be no truth that is going to come to light. So does that mean that we are going to have these walls always? So does that mean that you are going to continue keeping such thoughts to yourself? If so then hats off to the knight that wants to protect you. Well-played mate "
- darren on 10/1/2012